My boyfriend hits me, is it my fault?

I dont know if I deserve to be treated this way or how to react to , and why do i feel like i deserve it.First, i have a drug addiction problem and have been trying to get help for some time now, i need to tell you that so you get both sides. Now i did just found out im pregnant as well.


My boyfriends hits me several times for like a week then quits for 2 or 3 months. The first time he hit me he threw me across my room, just by pushing me, threw me into my dresser , punched me in the leg, that was when he found out about some major facts about my addiction. He said he only did it because of me using drugs, well i quit using everything other than the one thing that keeps me from being physically sick.

Everything was good after he pushed and smacked me around for 2 weeks. That was in march.We found out i was pregnant in april and 7 days ago i touched something of his and he ppunched me in the stomach, the day after that he throuigh me off the couch and kicked me twice in the stomach, 2 days ago i was eating toast his dad called for him to meet him for something and i said lemme eat my toast first. He grabbed the toast through it across the room i stood up and he pushed me hard i went flying, i got up he hit me in the stomach, so after he had done that so many time i hit him back , which was a bad idea he threw me in to the door, punched me in the face(right side cheek closer to the ear)I dropped crying, he took my glasses and broke them, i then through cherrios on him and he hit me in the mouth, busted my lips, and at this point im screaming and crying and im scared, he then remembers his neighbor is right above us and throws me on the bed put his hands over my mouth as a hard as he could, i had been crying so i couldnt breath out my nose, for a min i was really scared i was going to sufficate.

Not to mention you should here the things he says to me,like im a skuzzy whore, im worthless, im fat and ugly,Tells me ill never amount to anything, hreatens to kick me out of the apartment if i dont clean the apartment right when he says to, hes always putting me down .

I love him but after this last fight im scared of him, but i feel like i deserve it b/c i have issues and and i need his support right now but all he does is bring me down.

Why is he doing this to me? Do i Deserve it?